Category Archives: Reflections

Where Were You When I Needed You The Most

…I’m a man who is very easy to get along with. When I make friends, I am making it sure that I am for real… For real, in the sense that, I give value to my friends, I am not just a friend during party and happiness, but you can lean on me even in times of sadness.

I used to tell my friends…I am just one text away… Don’t hesitate to do so. Lean on, when you’re not strong, I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on.

There are times in our lives that we experience lonesomeness in life, lonely in the sense that we are tired of what is happening in our everyday living. We are just exhausted, but we don’t complain. We just want to rest and take a deep breath, or simply have a cup of coffee.

Sometimes, as humans, we just need someone to lean on, we just need someone to be with, or we just need someone to talk to.

I'm tired and exhausted already of making myself available to those who are dear to my heart, 'coz when I am the one who is in need, I have no one to lean. I am just left all alone. I am also human being like anyone else…my strength comes from the moral support of those who are concerned to me…Of course God is always with me, but my human nature is longing for humans who can uplift myself as a person.

I was thinking that I am superman, in the sense that, I can do everything without being tired and without experiencing poignant pangs of grief in this so called life.

Now that I am the one who needs somebody to lean, but none of my friends are available. They are enjoying their lives to the fullest without even sharing a drop of joys to others…

And now, I am the one who needs you…but where were you, when I needed you the most.

I Love MCDO

I still remember my college days when my classmates and I were having our snacks at McDonald's. We used to spend our time with simple burger, french fries, and drinking soda. With only 26 pesos, we were already happy for a value meal.

However, there were so many times when I wasn't able to join with them because my school allowance was very limited. I just had 2.50 pesos for my jeepney fare and I had no more.

I felt a little sadness within me for I have no single penny for a value meal. But I accepted the fact that I can't afford to join with my classmates as long as I want to because of my financial situation. I rather spent my afternoon playing my old guitar.

The music that I played were lingering in my heart. It gave me a rhythm of satisfaction in my life though. Acceptance of who I am, made me stronger each day that I can't join with my classmates. I told myself someday, I will order the most expensive meal in McDo.

After college graduation, I landed to a teaching job. The salary was not that high but it was more than enough to sustain my needs. And thus, I fulfilled my promise to myself. I had my lunch at McDonald's and I ordered the most expensive meal that the food stuff offered.

I can't forget the quarter pounder. It was yummy. Of course, I added a little money "Go Large". Meaning, my coke and fries were served in a large serving. And I enjoyed my meal a lot. Since I don't know how to cook, McDonald's served as my kitchen, hmmm I mean my dining hall (of course with a little exaggeration).

But I still felt alone, for I didn't have my classmates anymore, unlike before we were there together, enjoying our meal, laughing and chitchatting with one another, though most of the time I was not able to join them. Yes, I had more money to buy McDo Meal, but my classmates were already gone. We have our own lives right now.

When I left the country, there began my craving for McDonald's once again. I've missed the taste of the value meal that I used to eat. If you are familiar with McDo, you'll know what I'm talking about.

One day, during my laboratory check-up, I asked my driver to drop by at the nearest McDonald's. Unfortunately, it was closed. I just go back to the hospital and had my monthly check up. Sad to say, no value meal.

However, my longing for value meal were gone when our Head Mechanic, Sir Joe and our Male Nurse, Robert had lunch at McDo today. They came back to the office with value meal for me and for Mr. Felix, my Boss. Since, it was already lunch break, I gave Sir Felix his value meal and I brought mine in my room.

There, I enjoyed a lot eating my Big Mac. Big in the sense that it was really BIG. For in this country, what you see is what you get. The burger McDo was truly delicious and very tasteful. But as I was about to finish eating, I felt a little sadness in me, for it's quite painful and lonely to eat alone.

I was so lonesome. and then I realize that, it is not really the McDonald's or the value meal that I've missed, it is rather the persons who were with me during the time that I ate at McDo.

I can afford to have a party at McDonald's now, (modesty aside), but it is futile and meaningless when your loved ones are not around.

Ang Minsan ay Magpakaylan Man

Ate,

Kumusta ka na? Matagal tagal na ring hindi ka nagpaparamdam…Oo alam ko mayroon kang dinaramdam. Kung anu man yun sana maging ayos ka. Ako ayos lang naaalala ka. Sa totoo lang mahalaga ka sa akin hindi na kung sa anung dahilan basta bilang ikaw na mabuting tao na aking kaibigan. Yun pa din ang pinaniniwalaan ko kahit ang ipinapakita ng realidad ay hindi totoo.

Sana magtagumpay ka sa mga bagong hamon sa buhay mo. Ayaw ko na sanang magparamdam sa’yo, kaya lang pag ginawa ko yun ay pareho na tayo. Mag-iingat ka lagi, andyan ang Maykapal para gabayan ka. Sa pagdaloy ng agos ng iyong buhay, naway mabanaagan ng magagandang aral ang iyong kaisipan. Kunin mo ang lahat ng katangap-tanggap na moralidad, iwan mo ang imoral at hindi kagandahan.

Ang ganda ng tao’y panblabas lamang, ang busilak na puso’y magpakaylan man. Lagi mong tandaan, kung ano mayroon ngayon ay bunga ng kahapon, at ang kasalukuya’y idudulot ay hinaharap. Bilang tao’y maaring ako’y may pagkukulang sa’yo, iyon ay sa dahilang tao nga ako. Ikaw na sana ang magpuno para maibsan kung ano ang hindi sapat. Ang pagsasabi ng tapat ay nagsasama ng maluwat.

Paalam kaibigan. Kung sakaling sa pakiramdam mo’y wala ka ng matatakbuhan, baligtarin mo man ang mundo andito pa rin ako. Ang totoo’y alam ko na alam mo rin na naging malapit tayo sa isa’t isa, ngunit sa isang kisap mata’y napakalayo mo na.

Mabuti na lamang ganito talaga ang “minsan”, subali’t ang minsa’y sa buong pag ka-Ako ko’y…MAGPAKAYLAN MAN.

Lubos na nagmamahal,

Kuya

Love Without Reason

There are times in our lives that we can find ourselves in the middle of nothingness. But due to our reflective thinking we can come up with our self-realizations that we are just living in the midst of the so-called complicated life. As human beings who are virtually composed of body and soul, we have the innate capacity of loving.

Despite the ultimate happiness that we experience when we are in love, a big question mark will arise in a single moment of our beings. But as our thoughts are trying to fully grasp the indecipherable answers from the deepest recesses of our hearts, the more we cannot understand the unidentified cause of our action…the act of loving per se.

When we trace from the genesis of our loving action the reason why we fall in love, we would end up following the undying wit of Shakespeare’s axiom that love is really blind…From then onwards, we fail to penetrate within the real domain of love.

As time swiftly passes by from the intimate existence of our beings, we can feel a poignant pangs of grief in our lives, simply because we are unsuccessful in our infinite search to find the real reason of love.

Why don’t we look on the other side of the cause of love?

Loving is a sacred act…a commitment… it requires a great responsibility. We cannot really find out the reason of love from the material existence of every finite being, for the love itself is immaterial. After exerting all our efforts in finding the reason of love, we feel disappointed and unsatisfied with our answers.

Love is infinite…for its final and ultimate cause is infinite.

This syllogism proves this claim. God is love. God is infinite. Therefore, love is infinite. If that is the case, it follows that, love has infinite attributes and from these infinite attributes we cannot find the reason of love using our human reason alone, we even fail to see its cause through our human eyes.

Thus, we became very pessimistic when we entertain the saying that love is blind. But the truth is that, it is simply super-sighted for true love can see metaphysical realities. It sees what is beyond things perceived by our senses.

It is therefore morally justified if I will claim that we cannot really decipher the entirety… the “whatness” of love, if the only means or way of finding it, is simply our intellectual ability or just infatuated emotions. Love comes from our heart, it is only our heart that can understand love.

FOR THE LOVE HAS ITS OWN REASON THAT THE REASON ITSELF DOESN’T KNOW…

Love without reason…

(Inspired by the song of Hilera…RHYME WITHOUT REASON)